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I was so sad to hear that you had suffered the loss of a loved one and are no doubt experiencing the grief and sadness that comes with that loss.

I can only hope that moving forward you can find it possible to focus on the fond and great times you have shared and smile.

Go to a meeting.
Call your sponsor.
Get another day.
This too shall pass.

Maybe it's time to stop thinking and take some action.

Never discourage
Always encourage

Think it through. Choose wisely.